To Be or Not To Be

My title today is a very famous quote by William Shakespear , and no I am not translating the Hamlet here. I am here to discuss an issue which according to me is becoming intense with every passing generation .

'Parenthood', is often regraded as the greatest gift of God to a woman. Often said that a woman or a family is complete after a child is born. No questions neither an iota of doubt on that, the question here is shouldn't this be an option a choice that woman or rather the couple should be allowed to make. Why should it be a passed on tradition which should be followed without any ifs or buts. Why is it mandatory for every 'married couple' to become a parent irrespective of their choice.

Parenthood is a feeling, an emotion which should be made only when one is ready to manage a responsibility so big. We have a right on our body, then why immediately after marriage the society tries to barge into our private space and force the tradition upon us.

Surprising once a woman becomes a mother she is often judged at her workplace, she is denied a promotion as her plate is already full and it is best decided that a male colleague could manage responsibilities better. Amazed how our society sees things, how it is judged that being a parent is only a mother's job and not a father's. How roles are predefined, it is a woman who will look after the family and it is the father who will provide for it. Why can't the roles be reversed maybe the couples wants that too.Why is a mother expected to sacrifice to give up at every step. Why is a woman judged constantly and why does she have to shoulder the expectation of others. A man can be a stay at home guy. We love it when our movies show such a concept, but in reality accepting this is a far cry.

The World is changing rapidly, the environment is changing. Women have proved they can successfully multitask,they can be leaders and mothers at the same time. A woman who rides the success wave as a doctor, teacher, politician, chef, pilot is very often suddenly swung back looking for answers once she embraces motherhood. As believed by most that motherhood is a spiritual discourse with the almighty, but the problem arises when motherhood is not chosen but forced upon one. A parent-to-be needs to have a plan, a vision of what the future holds. We all at some point think its mandatory to have kids but what if once we have them we feel this is not our place, this can't be reversed.

A couple together has to cross the 9 months journey, bear the expenses, shoulder the responsibility of making the child eligible and along with all this other numerous responsibilities have to be fulfilled. It is a woman's body who goes through the numerous hormonal changes shouldn't she be allowed to decide when to embrace motherhood. A couple gets married they might have their dreams their bucket list isn't that ever a priority. Isn't it believed that we have one life and it should be lived to its fullest. 

We often believe that when a couple is in a toxic marriage becoming a parent often helps them, they draw closer. I wonder does one really think so, will you have the guts to bring another member into the toxicity. What is the guarantee that the brunt of the toxicity will not drive the kid into anxiety and depression. A non-compatible couple sticks together often for their child, but when the dynamics of the strained relation do not change and keeps getting worse, has anyone thought what happens to the psychological aspect of the child.

My question here is not on parenthood, it should of course be embraced when the couple feels it's the right time. If at all they are ready to embrace it, both should be on the same page when the decision is taken, as there is no coming back from this. But the decision should be made out of free will not because that is the mandate or we would be judged if we decide against it. Well, we will always be judged for our actions without knowing the reason behind it.